Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Candorville by Darrin Bell
A look at what happens when a tea-bagger, complete with a scythe representing "death panels" and a birth certificate marking him as a "birther," throws his back out...
Monday, January 12, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Year in Review
It's the time of year when we're bombarded with lists of the best and the worst, but if you want a full and accurate recounting of the year that's winding down, you have to go to the expert -- Dave Barry.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Santa Claus Bailout Hearings
This video is the extremely rare C-SPAN and National Lampoon collaboration...
BTW, the actor playing Santa is Larry Hankin. If he looks familiar it's because you've seen him in dozens of movies and television shows going all the way back to the mid-60s. In the Seinfeld episode "The Pilot" he was Tom Pepper, the actor chosen to play the part of Kramer. He also appeared in a Married...with Children episode; he was Mary ("That's pronounced Mer-ay"), the man who went crazy after designing the Bundy's couch.
BTW, the actor playing Santa is Larry Hankin. If he looks familiar it's because you've seen him in dozens of movies and television shows going all the way back to the mid-60s. In the Seinfeld episode "The Pilot" he was Tom Pepper, the actor chosen to play the part of Kramer. He also appeared in a Married...with Children episode; he was Mary ("That's pronounced Mer-ay"), the man who went crazy after designing the Bundy's couch.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Malkin Was Right!
I take back every mean thing I said about Michelle Malkin. She was right. There is something to this Dunkin Donuts/Rachael Ray conspiracy...
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
The Onion Strikes Again
The Onion always has some funny content, but every now and then they outdo themselves. For example, there's this "news" story from Onion News Network...
Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film
Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
News from the (Billboard Liberation) Front
PRESS RELEASE
Watch the video
courtesy of Iov de Beholther
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 27, 2008
San Francisco, CA
The Billboard Liberation Front today announced a major new advertising improvement campaign executed on behalf of clients AT&T and the National Security Agency. Focusing on billboards in the San Francisco area, this improvement action is designed to promote and celebrate the innovative collaboration of these two global communications giants.
“This campaign is an extraordinary rendition of a public-private partnership,” observed BLF spokesperson Blank DeCoverly. “These two titans of telecom have a long and intimate relationship, dating back to the age of the telegraph. In these dark days of Terrorism, that should be a comfort to every law-abiding citizen with nothing to hide.” (More)
Monday, February 25, 2008
Oops!
At least they were able to get this overturned vehicle back on all four wheels...
http://view.break.com/444776 - Watch more free videos
http://view.break.com/444776 - Watch more free videos
Friday, February 8, 2008
Red State Update: Super Tuesday
Jackie Broyles and Dunlap offer their keen political observations about Super Tuesday...
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
An Enigmatic Traveler
What a strange story from Onion News Network -- a mysterious traveler entrances a small town with a grand Utopian vision of the future if they'll just make him their leader.
Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future
Update: It seems as if the journey of the enigmatic traveler has come to an end.
Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future
Update: It seems as if the journey of the enigmatic traveler has come to an end.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Political Analysis From Red State Update
The boys from Red State Update, Jackie Broyles and Dunlap, offer their keen insights of the latest political contests in Nevada and South Carolina...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Romney Campaign Trouble
Yes, Mitt Romney won the Michigan Primary by a sizable margin and managed to drag himself back into the race for the Republican nomination, but his campaign is in real trouble. The Onion News Network explains...
Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance
Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
Favorite Sites: Red State Update
I was watching the PBS show Pioneers of Television the other night. They were talking about The Andy Griffith Show and comparing it to shows that came later like The Beverly Hillbillies. Someone made the comment that Andy Griffith wanted people to laugh with him, not at him. I guess that's why I've always like The Andy Griffith Show more than The Beverly Hillbillies. I've always had a problem with TV shows and movies that portray Southerners as just a bunch of illiterate country bumpkins to be laughed at. Sure we have our share, but some of us can read and write and do occasionally wear shoes.
So I shouldn't like Red State Update. It's just a couple of rednecks from Murfreesboro, Tennessee talking about politics on YouTube. Jackie Broyles and Dunlap (aka, Travis Harmon and Jonathan Shockley) usually sit around a table littered with beer cans and other debris, with the U.S. and Tennessee flags in the background, and talk about whatever pops into their heads (it seems). It's a hilarious act and I know a couple of people just like that. If you got them together and got them started in on politics, it would sound just like this...
This is their latest video, their take on the results of the Iowa caucus.
WARNING: The above video is clean, but they do get carried away with language occasionally.
Last week, the Huckster, who is running low on money compared to Romney and some of the other Repubs, tried to get the news media to run his negative ad for free by trying to turn it into news. He called a press conference to announce that he had a negative ad that he had decided not to run "for what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" He then proceeded to show the ad to "prove" that he had one, and even passed out DVD copies to the assembled press. They were laughing at him by the time the dog-and-pony show was over. In another video, the Red State Update boys make fun of this episode, but drop the F-bomb much more than normal in their own negative ads.
Here's more on Red State Update from the Nashville Scene. The cover story talks about their "big break:" a question on the Democratic YouTube debate.
----------------
Now playing: Beck - Loser
via FoxyTunes
So I shouldn't like Red State Update. It's just a couple of rednecks from Murfreesboro, Tennessee talking about politics on YouTube. Jackie Broyles and Dunlap (aka, Travis Harmon and Jonathan Shockley) usually sit around a table littered with beer cans and other debris, with the U.S. and Tennessee flags in the background, and talk about whatever pops into their heads (it seems). It's a hilarious act and I know a couple of people just like that. If you got them together and got them started in on politics, it would sound just like this...
This is their latest video, their take on the results of the Iowa caucus.
WARNING: The above video is clean, but they do get carried away with language occasionally.
Last week, the Huckster, who is running low on money compared to Romney and some of the other Repubs, tried to get the news media to run his negative ad for free by trying to turn it into news. He called a press conference to announce that he had a negative ad that he had decided not to run "for what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" He then proceeded to show the ad to "prove" that he had one, and even passed out DVD copies to the assembled press. They were laughing at him by the time the dog-and-pony show was over. In another video, the Red State Update boys make fun of this episode, but drop the F-bomb much more than normal in their own negative ads.
Here's more on Red State Update from the Nashville Scene. The cover story talks about their "big break:" a question on the Democratic YouTube debate.
----------------
Now playing: Beck - Loser
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Victim of Circumstances -- A Christmas Tale
Picture this, if you will. A woman walks out of a convenience store, leaving behind her wallet containing $600, a couple of credit cards, her driver's license and Social Security card. She had just cashed her paycheck and was on her way to buy Christmas presents. A man enters the store, sees the wallet lying on the counter, sticks it under his coat and leaves.
Now, picture the front page of the local newspaper. About halfway down, there's a surveillance photo taken of the man stealing the woman's wallet in the convenience store. Directly above that photo is another photo. This photo shows the same man wearing the same clothes putting Christmas decorations on the window of the business he works for. Needless to say, it didn't take local police long to find their man.
The man, Michael Millhouse, was arrested after numerous tips from alert readers and charged with second-degree theft. "I always liked the Grinch. I guess I am one," he said in the interview with the Tribune. "I am sorry for embarrassing the community and being the Grinch this year."
Now, picture the front page of the local newspaper. About halfway down, there's a surveillance photo taken of the man stealing the woman's wallet in the convenience store. Directly above that photo is another photo. This photo shows the same man wearing the same clothes putting Christmas decorations on the window of the business he works for. Needless to say, it didn't take local police long to find their man.
The man, Michael Millhouse, was arrested after numerous tips from alert readers and charged with second-degree theft. "I always liked the Grinch. I guess I am one," he said in the interview with the Tribune. "I am sorry for embarrassing the community and being the Grinch this year."
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Holiday Greetings from the Legal Department
Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, the best wishes of the Legal Department (sometimes hereinafter referred to as the "wisher") for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your
choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere or that there are not other hemispheres of equal dignity), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee (or lack thereof with regards to any or all of such factors) (and further not to imply that the winter should be considered a holiday for those afflicted, through no fault of their own, with some form of psychological or physical depression occasioned by the natural reduction of sunlight or increase in precipitation due to seasonal factors (or increase/reduction for those in the so-called Southern Hemisphere.))
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher. Terms are subject to change without notice. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law).
IMPORTANT NOTE: Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. This document contains forward-looking statements that are subject to a number of risks and uncertainties; actual results may differ. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to FCC approval. This is not an offer to sell or to buy securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. See store manager for further details. Do not stamp. Use
other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes your acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. No animals were harmed in the filming of this production. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms that seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For official use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool, process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use, $300. See label for sequence. Estimated expenses. Expenses vary and include management fee and fees for shareholder Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of wild animals. Your mileage may vary. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Stock markets are volatile and can decline significantly in response to adverse issuer, political, regulatory, market, or economic developments. Different parts of the market can react differently to these developments. Foreign markets can be more volatile than the U.S. market due to increased risks of adverse issuer, political, regulatory, market, or economic developments and can perform differently from the U.S. market. The value of individual security or particular type of security can be more volatile than the market as a whole and can perform differently from the value of the market as a whole. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, and then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. This section intentionally left blank. Objects may appear closer than they actually are. All of the views expressed in the research report accurately reflect the research analyst's personal views about any and all of the subject securities or issuers; and no part of the research analyst's compensation was, is, or will be, directly or indirectly, related to the specific recommendations or views expressed by the research analyst in the research report. This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is theory, not fact, about the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered. Not valid toward previous purchase. Offer excludes money orders, alcohol, tobacco, stamps and dairy products.
choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere or that there are not other hemispheres of equal dignity), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee (or lack thereof with regards to any or all of such factors) (and further not to imply that the winter should be considered a holiday for those afflicted, through no fault of their own, with some form of psychological or physical depression occasioned by the natural reduction of sunlight or increase in precipitation due to seasonal factors (or increase/reduction for those in the so-called Southern Hemisphere.))
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher. Terms are subject to change without notice. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law).
IMPORTANT NOTE: Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. This document contains forward-looking statements that are subject to a number of risks and uncertainties; actual results may differ. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to FCC approval. This is not an offer to sell or to buy securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. See store manager for further details. Do not stamp. Use
other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes your acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. No animals were harmed in the filming of this production. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms that seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For official use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool, process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use, $300. See label for sequence. Estimated expenses. Expenses vary and include management fee and fees for shareholder Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of wild animals. Your mileage may vary. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Stock markets are volatile and can decline significantly in response to adverse issuer, political, regulatory, market, or economic developments. Different parts of the market can react differently to these developments. Foreign markets can be more volatile than the U.S. market due to increased risks of adverse issuer, political, regulatory, market, or economic developments and can perform differently from the U.S. market. The value of individual security or particular type of security can be more volatile than the market as a whole and can perform differently from the value of the market as a whole. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, and then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. This section intentionally left blank. Objects may appear closer than they actually are. All of the views expressed in the research report accurately reflect the research analyst's personal views about any and all of the subject securities or issuers; and no part of the research analyst's compensation was, is, or will be, directly or indirectly, related to the specific recommendations or views expressed by the research analyst in the research report. This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is theory, not fact, about the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered. Not valid toward previous purchase. Offer excludes money orders, alcohol, tobacco, stamps and dairy products.
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